Summer is approaching; it will be officially here on June 21. Along with jubilation from students (and teachers), summer also brings a chance for many to refresh, recharge, rearrange, reminisce, and recover.
Of course, summer also brings the humid “dog days”- a reference from ancient times that acknowledges Sirius, the “Dog Star” whose brightness was seen by Romans as adding to seasonal heat. The dog lobby should be all over this one as the term sounds like an effort to denigrate man’s best friend down, but whatever…
Summer also brings an annual, natural phenomenon we deal with- the 7:30pm moth invasion. Moths, stereotyped as ugly duckling relatives of butterflies, show up around 7:30p during summer’s hot, muggy nights. These frail flappers look for food around dusk, and (of course) lights attract ‘em. But even when even if you turn off the lights and check that windows/screens are shut, these buggahs still find a way to wing it into kitchens and other indoor areas. By 8pm, they’re gone. Fascinating.
Let’s organize a pseudo-Lollapalooza event for moths so moth mobs can gather in one place, thus alleviating our nightly swatting escapades. Summertime’s hotter weather encourages more rapid moth reproduction, and as our mortal coil’s temperature increases, more multiplying moths will be prevalent for decades in summers to come.
Here’s a truncated moth gem from comedian Norm MacDonald (also attributed to Colin Quinn): A depressed moth tells a podiatrist his life is meaningless, his family is gone, and he has no purpose. When asked why he came to a foot doctor instead of seeing a psychiatrist with such problems, the moth replies, “Because the light was on”. Badda boom.
Moths love the light; if they loved the dark, they’d be called goths. What’s the biggest moth called? A mammoth. Major moth motto: “glow big or glow home”. A moth at a buffet looks for light snacks only. Why did the moth take a nap? It was feeling light-headed.
So keep your windows, doors, screens, and vents closed at 7:30pm to lessen the odds of marauding moth mania this summer. Enjoy family BBQs and share a playlist of your favorite “summer” songs, a list which is also fine to play in November or February. “In the summertime when the weather is hot / You can stretch right up and touch the sky” — (Mungo Jerry, “In The Summertime”). Touch the sky this summer.
Think about it…