The Longest Timeout Ever – MidWeek, April 8, 2020

We are now living in the midst of the world’s longest, largest, and most coordinated “timeout”. Many, if not most, parents know of and understood this concept (whether or not they’ve actually used it) since it first came into social consciousness as a child behavioral modification system over a half-century ago.

But unlike the normally prescribed timeout, used to diffuse a situation caused by a child’s misbehavior or attitude, almost nobody’s behavior warranted this universal timeout. No one had a tizzy fit or ramped up the drama to force his/her mentor to tell us that we all need to calm down… in weeks-long isolation. Yes, a number of people thought (or still think) they’re above it all and can go on with their normal socializing, arrogant or ignorant to the proven facts that they can get and spread the COVID-19 virus whether they show symptoms or not.

But as we are inundated with daily (hourly?) updates about this developing, devastating phenomenon, most of us have reluctantly accepted our fates as a temporarily threatened species by hunkering down and even binge-watching shows on channels from providers that didn’t even exist five years ago. Or we play Candy Crush Saga, Subway Surfers, Solitaire, Scrabble, Connect Four, or Monopoly in some of the longest and most arduous competitions in family history. 

Over 90%of the population of the United States is now in some form of mandated virtual lockdown. Over 290-million, freedom-loving Americans are now inside doing Sudoku or crossword puzzles… regularly. I’ve now watched “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives” so many times, I actually know by heart the ingredients that make up most of the small restaurant pork rubs, briskets, and rib combos nationwide that have been shown repeatedly over the past 13 seasons. I even almost watched reality TV last week!

When severe danger finally arrived on our shores, it wasn’t a weather catastrophe, a gas leak, a chemical spill, or the redundant scourge of the 21st century- the “active shooter” situation- that forced humanity inside for its own well-being and safety. This one couldn’t be seen. Turns out it was a highly-transmittable, sometimes symptom-less virus that is testing our mettle (and it even lasts for up to three days on metal!), our economy, and our collective patience as we await testing on possible, mitigating treatments or solutions (soon?) and preventive inoculations (not so soon).

Think About It…