They’re here, they’re there, they’re everywhere. Yes, roosters rule far and wide; from the edges of suburbia to the heart of our rural neighborhoods. Today, let’s take a gander (not the goose) at just what makes these feral, feathery squawkers tick. After all, we now hear from them almost every night… and day.
Roosters have internal circadian clocks, set at just under 24 hours, so they are quite consistent in their waking-you-up routines, unfortunately. Scientists measured their internal clocks running at 23.8-hour day, so just know that the incessant crowing is not a coincidence.
Roosters rant when ready, at any time. The sunrise theory is simply an old hen’s tale. If you’ve heard ‘em at 3am, you already know that. The Rolling Stones once sang, “time waits for no one”, and roosters don’t wait for the crack of dawn- nor the crack of breakfast eggs- to get their days going.
Roosters can mate up to 30 times a day… I kid you not. No wonder they’re crowing all the time. Again, someone studied this stuff. If you ever thought your job was a tad tedious… though I’m guess that this study must have been, er… stimulating? Suggestions for (humanely) shutting these birds up include leaving lights on (not very fashionable, and their clocks are internal, not sitting on a nearby night table) and turning on a radio (sounds like propaganda used in war zones to numb the enemy).
I wonder what music best soothes a foul fowl- New Age? Ambient? Eagles? Byrds? One suggestion is to keep rousting roosters “happy”. Does that involve psychology therapy time? Are cock sessions deductible? And is “happy” really the ultimate goal, versus, say, a more fulfilling life?
While the legislature addressed and tabled this frustrating, feral, fowl phenomenon yet again, we ought to (begrudgingly) give roosters props for their loyalty to the flock (though noting that this includes a serious and serial lack of monogamy) and their willingness to protect and feed their broods. Roosters live for up to eight years, so kudos to the pesty, persistent peckers for possessing stamina, loyalty, perseverance, and a sense of purpose and commitment. Strutters indeed.
If you’re an early riser, can’t sleep, or are weary of incessant cock-a-doodle-doing in your midst, you can perhaps acknowledge this … and hope that our 2026 legislature finally provides a mitigation plan to resolve this never-ending poultry pontification.
Think about it…