We have a primary election here next month and a general election (about which we’re generally upset) in November, so for fun, let’s look at legislative/political nomenclature that seems to have taken on new meanings in a post-truth world.
Act– a bill/measure passed into law, according to the American Psychological Association glossary of terms. Sadly, not enough legislators are taking much-needed visits to shrinks. “Act” is now an unused, antiquated concept when it comes to elected officials in D.C.
Chairperson– someone who sits on his/her assets, pontificates about the need for committees, discussions, consensus, and moving forward, and then does very little.
Congress– a large body that meets regularly yet legislates rarely. The main, unstated purpose of this monolithic mishmash is to get oneself re-elected; thus, sucking up or being quiet when obvious wrongs exist is a must for self-preservation. Congress also now means “completely ineffectual entity” as this version has passed the least amount of legislation in the past 50-years. It’s current approval rating is 13% (Gallup), which might be lower than gout, stale mochi, traffic cameras, and fire ants.
General Accounting Office– an entity created to support Congress, that provides information which is then twisted to help ensure rule #1- getting re-elected. The GAO takes the science and art of accounting and watches it get translated it into a Willy Wonka fantasy world by its chosen (well… elected) masters.
Joint Committee– where members of both major parties (though they’re not partying together much) sit around, smoke dope and suggest to the general public that they’re working hard together. They must think we are high!
Ranking Member– this used to mean the committee member with the most seniority on a legislative committee, but since almost nothing gets enacted after months of sitting around nowadays, it just means the person who stinks the most.
Table a Bill– this is where good/bad legislation goes to die, whereupon each involved legislator can say, “I tried!”, even if that translates to simply pandering to donors and their constituent bases to ensure (rule #1) re-election. Rocking the boat is discouraged- discuss everything, agree on nothing, but promise to do better next term.
Recess– a temporary break in the Congressional tomfoolery, and much like in grade school, a time where the kids can go out and play.
Skeptical? Cynical? Frustrated? Bewildered? Perhaps; but, you gotta laugh; that is, if it wasn’t so important.
Think about it…