Why must it be so terrible?? I mean really. Far too many doctor’s offices, credit card companies, banks, airlines, rental companies, and the like have the most awful music soothing us (ha!) as we waste our lives away when put on hold. The drippy, maudlin, sad, slow, overmodulated, unrecognizable, and ridiculously repetitive music actually makes Muzak sound good! This on-hold stuff might be a rationale for hanging up. Hmmm, maybe that’s what they want!? I’m feeling ornery enough forced to sit for 10-minutes on hold… interrupted only by that pre-recorded “we’re sorry, but all of our operators are currently busy…” reminder.
Redundant, distorted music is not a good sales pitch. Can’t you at least play something more uplifting or catchy? Your music isn’t making me feel happier about this wait. Come on folks! I mean, we are clients, potential clients, or possibly former clients. Find a new music service or get a hip 14-year-old to program something better for us feeble waiters rather than the out-of-tune saccharine you’re playing, especially the local companies. Gimme some slack key virtuoso stuff. You’re killing me, smalls…
Having vented and gotten that out of my system (though the stench remains), let’s all remember that one person’s favorite song is certainly someone else’s musical misery maker. For every critic who reviles “We Built This City”, there are those who believe that “Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro is easily the worst dreck ever slapped on vinyl (1968). But we know there’s more unknown flotsam and jetsam out there. Again, one person’s dreck is surely another’s #1 feel-good song of all time. I’ve witnessed first-dance wedding songs that made me regret ever accepting the invitation (unless the food was great).
Go check out any list of “worst songs ever” and you’ll probably find gag-me-with-a-spoon offerings layered with some tunes that you actually enjoy(ed). So how does one pick his/her favorite or least favorite song, movie or (fill-in-the-blank) of all-time? Tough choices, I know, but a fun game. Heck, many of you braved the head-spinning world of dating yet eventually chose “the one”. So, it shouldn’t be too hard to regale or bore your friends with one’s personal favorites- food, movie, song, restaurant, Beatle, TV show, athlete, president, city, color, et al.
And businesses, please try to avoid putting us in Muzak-ish purgatory, and we’ll remember to smile when a human being finally does pick up.
Think about it…