In A Pickle – MidWeek August 7, 2024

Pickleball is all the rage as you’ve probably heard. Turf wars have sprung up in neighborhoods far and wide between the tennis/paddle tennis crowd and pickleballers. Jurisdictions have added or reconfigured pickleball courts all over Hawai`i. But the racquet racket is driving some people crazy. Just last month, a friend I was dining with asked that we move to a different table due to the adjacent pinging pain from the ball-meets-racquet activity just 50-yards away.

So for the innovators and entrepreneurs out there- how about figuring out a way to mitigate the (sometimes considered obnoxious) clack when the pickleball gets whacked. Invent a semi-silencer for the paddles and/or the balls that doesn’t alter the game. A fortune would be made by the creators, and peace will be restored in neighborhoods throughout Hawai`i and the rest of the world. 

Suggestions include EV foam racquets, deflated tennis balls (used in padel tennis- yes, yet another court game), or maybe even community earplugs (just kidding). Orthopods are enjoying the surge in the game, because some players simply aren’t ready for the torque on their bodies, which leads to more ACL and Achilles’ tendon tears. Oh joy!

What began back in 1965 on Bainbridge Island, WA., grew mightily during the COVID pandemic and now occasionally pits pithy players vs. serenity-seekers. There are an about 400 pickleball courts in Hawai`i spread out over 100 locations. While the sport initially appealed to an older (i.e.- less mobile) crowd, the game is seeing huge growth among all ages.

What would be great would be to dull the pickleball (not dill it) through advanced science and technology. Though the game has been around for 60-years, it appears that recently it has not-so-quietly become a noted nuisance, perhaps a human version of incessant, clucking, feral chickens? 

However, any sport that features a “kitchen” can’t be all bad, can it? Well, except that pickleball players may not volley while in the kitchen (that’s up by the net); we had a no-volley rule in my home kitchen eons ago. Let’s hope an audio solution can be found to help mitigate the constant ping, pong, pop, whack, and smack created by this burgeoning ballgame. It’s not just about the volume, but also the pitch and frequency that raises blood pressure in quiescent neighbors. 

We’ve got a perplexing, persistent pickle here; let’s hope brilliant minds can rally for a smashing winner.

Think about it.