MidWeek Column

Three things were top of mind this week; just three…

Last month, I termed out after eight-yeas as a Stadium Authority member. The planned new Aloha Stadium and entire NASED (New Aloha Stadium Entertainment District) project is further along today than at any time during my tenure on the Authority; we look forward to a UH/Kansas football game scheduled in Hālawa for August, 2028. But that can only happen if we continue to see the political will and can-do attitude shown of late (but not earlier) for this vital project to actually move ahead. It’s not just about a stadium; it is a area’s revitalization into a district with housing, retail, and much more. May it smoothly move ahead…

While on Maui late last month for an amazing family wedding, I saw housing construction underway in many areas between the Kahului airport and Kapalua. We read often of what’s not working and the many frustrations (understood) on Maui, but there is activity and a growing sense that things are moving forward in many areas while concerns and trauma remain, and will exist for years to come. In the meantime, the resilient residents of Maui who make a living directly or indirectly based on visitor counts could surely be helped by seeing more kama`aina stay-cations this summer. Standing on high on Maui’s west side and gazing at Molokai and Lanai amid tranquil waters remains breathtaking, poignant and perhaps even reassuring. Check ‘em out…

As we ponder what fate our country (and perhaps democracy) holds in the upcoming national election, I’m reminded of that constant adage that “the keiki are our future”. Of course they are. So now might be a great time to revisit what we are teaching our keiki to help better prepare them in an oft times confusing world. I know there are standard scholastic requirements and such that need to be met, but looking ahead (or behind), perhaps we can find a better way to weave generic critical thinking, morals, ethics, the concept of empathy, and even some basic economic principles into the courseload. 

Some of this is already in play via social studies, and Hawaii schools do require some civics training, but t now would be a good time to remind people about why voting matters, how citizens make a difference in communities and such. Again, critical thinking, sans agendas. If not now, then when?

Think about it… 

Last year, the following drugs made their pharmaceutical manufacturers over $9 billion… each. Their names read like a bad eye-chart test or Harry Potter/Da Vinci Code mystery in which drug names are meant to bewilder, yet hopefully resolve issues. Keytruda, Humira, Ozempic, Eliquis, Biktarvy, Dupixent, Comirnaty, Stelara, Opdivo, Darzalex, Eylea, Trikafta. The profitability key apparently stems from throwing spaghetti letters onto a wall and then simply re-arranging them onto an unfathomably bizarre label. 

Weird words remind me of the mind-bending, bizarre Mister Mxyzptlk, who first appeared in a Superman comic book 80 years ago. Or “ ‘Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe (“Jabberwocky”, from Lewis Caroll’s “Through The Looking Glass”). Slithytove sounds like a best-seller drug for controlling irritable bowel syndrome. Letters are tossed around, and the possibilities are endless!

Moving on, here are a few tired phrases that perhaps we can stop tossing around: “To be honest with you…” When I hear that one, my first thought is, “Oh, so everything up to now has been a lie?!” Shouldn’t we assume honesty? But in 2024, the truth is far more nuanced, twisted, subjective, or unimportant, so maybe this expression remains relevant.

“Take it to the next level.” Ok, how about we just “increase?” Can we actually skip a level… and go up two levels?!

“It is what it is…” An overused summation used to end discussions; it can sometimes be exchanged with “…the train has left the station.” 

“At the end of the day…” Another overused way to neatly summarize (or dismiss) a discussion. But in today’s over-stimulated, digital world, some might suggest there never actually is an “end of the day,” what with chats, emails, texts, alerts, and messages ad nauseum. Stimulating complexities nowadays make it seem more like “at the end to the daze.”

“Think outside the box.” I’ve commented before: who’s box? Would a circle or triangle be better to think inside of, or out? Ah, you want innovation and inventiveness? OK, let’s start by never suggesting that we “think outside the box.”

“On the same page.” Oh, you mean “agree” or “working together?” Frankly, not enough people have/make the time to read these days, so they’re really not on any page.

And to be clear, it’s pronounced real-tor, not real-a-ter; jewel-ry, not jewl-ary; nu-clear, not nuc-ular. I know what you’re thinking: he should just “get a life.”

Think about it…

With the excitement of a new Sumatran tiger now roaming at the Honolulu Zoo, it’s time to expose one of the great fallacies of the animal kingdom. The world’s tigers must change their public relations firm. It’s time for these striped, stealthy, super-cats to claim their well-earned title of “King of the Jungle”. Sorry lion fans, but check the facts. While Sumatran tigers are small (comparatively speaking), experts universally suggest that a Bengal tiger would trounce an African lion in a battle royale.

Pulse Nigeria (and other sources) point out that tigers are apex predators; stronger, faster, heavier, and even nastier than lions. They’re known for their stealth and ambush tactics; they also carouse solo- with great pride, no doubt, but without the need for a “pride” around them.

As tigers and lions don’t live together, a lion vs. tiger showdown might only occur as yet another WWE/MMA/UFC/PFL/Bellator pay-per-view battle- the “greatest cat fight of all-time”. That would showcase some great public relations work! I’ve long admired the tiger’s independence, power, beauty, and ability to handle all of this “king of the jungle” crap with apparent humility, nonchalance, and class. Oh, and lions don’t even live in “the jungle”, and elephants rightfully scare them! 

We see too little of tiger coolness and focus in our human world, with our limited attention spans and unquenchable thirsts for the newest, coolest, greatest, must-have/must-see, influenced things du jour. Andy Warhol said, “In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes”; perhaps a more appropriate concept now would be “…digitally famous- for 15-seconds”. 

We live, at times, in a post-truth world, where facts don’t seem to matter (to some). We often rely on deep, moral self-intuition when challenged or threatened by information contrary to our wants or needs (check out Jonathan Haidt’s, “The Righteous Mind”, 2012).

Unlike lions and tigers, humans do live close together. Vitriolic rhetoric sadly nowadays sometimes includes physical threats (often anonymous) aimed at those who some may not agree with- elected officials, teachers/educators, rights advocates, celebrities, business leaders, etc. We cherry pick our media/information sources where and when they fit our primal needs. 

But we can’t keep acting like lions and tigers- in relative silos and ignorant, staking our own kingdoms. Let’s stop playing “who’s the king of the jungle”? That’s an unresolvable animal act. We need to stop growling and posturing, and start interacting… like humans.

Think about it. 

I remember driving over the Pali Highway, Kailua-bound, about 10-years ago late one afternoon, when I noticed the cars in front of me all parting to the left or right just before the tunnel after the Pali Lookout exit. Much to my surprise, I swiftly came upon the reason- a lone wild boar ambling up the highway. Only time I’ve seen that in 40+ years. 

While we do see the occasional night marauding pig along the side of the road on the Kailua side, pigs in the middle of a highway might be something you see when, well… (you knew it was coming) pigs fly.

I thought of this chance swine swagger a month ago when I read/watched the chase for four escaped zoo-bound zebras on a highway exit in Washington. One of the volunteers who helped corral the striped wonders had worked for 15 years as a rodeo clown (no joke) and bullfighter. 

So, 30 miles east of Seattle they had a posse of puzzled people pursuing zebras. Two were forced into a pen and inevitably into a trailer on a nearby farm, while a third was also quickly penned. Ah, but the fourth escapee, perhaps an anti-loper, remained uncaged for five days. You see Shug (as she’s called) probably yearned for days of yore when zebras roamed freely in eastern and southern Africa. But eastern Seattle?

Of course, Shug became an internet sensation, and upon capture, I’m sure many onlookers booed. Now we all know that zebras are used to being booed, but that’s normally associated with the human form of zebras (a/k/a referees) during football or basketball games.

Last March, a calf escaped a slaughterhouse in Brooklyn, New York (you might think that’s an inappropriate locale for a slaughterhouse… well, just “Fuhgeddaboudit”). Happy ending with that one as public outcry ensured that the captured calf was transported to live out her days on an upstate New Jersey farm, but while running loose, the stakes were surely high (I stole that one from an unsubtle, New York news anchor). 

When humans have unexpected interactions with, shall we say, non-locals of the animal variety, the reactions are often naturally exciting and surely unrehearsed. Zebras and pigs on highways? A cow running through suburban streets?  While sometimes it sadly doesn’t all work out harmlessly and peacefully, when rarely seen or out-of-place animals encroach, it surely catches our attention.

Think about it…