Words & Nerds – MidWeek April 14, 2021

This might be the thinking person’s editorial… or not. The CDC, which now stands for COVID: Daily Changes, says it’s safe for students to sit just three feet apart, as long as they wear masks. Thus, the biggest gift for befuddled schoolchildren this year might be a yard stick… for measuring purposes only, kids. When kids choose to socialize, they must now stay only a yard from one another. But if adults are talking to one another- the cone of vigilance remains six feet. And if an adult is chatting with three kids and two adults, it’s… wait, I never was very good at math. Bottom line, COVID-19 variant strains are still creeping into our daily vernacular- so stay apart, wash up, and avoid partying big time for a while longer. Just keep up the vigilance for a few more months. And smile.

I read a story recently where the writer referred to his mom and dad as his “aging parents”. I’ve always sensed that’s this is the only kind of parents one can have- aging. The alternative is obviously not very attractive, and I’ve yet to hear of anyone’s parents getting younger, so perhaps we can stop reminding parents that they are aging with an overused adjective. After all, you rarely read about “aging babies”, but they are all aging, aren’t they? Ageism lives on, right as the cancel culture overstays its welcome, or at least overextends it boundaries.

Here are some avoidable, everyday verbal redundancies (tautologies) we can probably live without (yes, save your words for you might only have so many of them to use during your lifetime): past history, new innovations, two twins, advance warning, ATM machine, ask a question, cameo appearance, close proximity, and completely surrounded. Whew!

And by the way, for the true non-linguists in our midst, the word is “jewelry”, pronounced “jool-ree”, and not “jewl-ery”; and it’s “real-tor”, not “real-ah-ter”. “February” has become accepted verbally as “Feb-YOU-ary” and pronunciation misuse runs rampant. And really, should politicians be allowed to vote on stuff they can’t correctly pronounce, like when pontificating about “noo-cue-lar” weapons? It’s “nuclear”, Einstein.   

Finally, let’s embrace those ever-present oxymorons in our lives, like: act naturally, growing smaller, jumbo shrimp, random order, original copy, and, of course uncontested divorce (really? someone’s upset!). Lose vocabulary vagaries and save words for later in your life… when you’ve become an aging parent.

Think about it…