One of the signs of the waning COVID era is our daily traffic- everywhere, every day. But as we plod along, we can gain insights by looking closely at some often-seen bumper stickers, and what they truly (might) mean…
Like “Baby on Board”. Thanks for the warning, but bold, rear red lights on cars are a good enough sign for me to be aware on the road. And if you persist in cell phone abuse as you merge or ignore speed limit “suggestions”, perhaps you should change that sign to “Baby, I’m Bored”. And at what age should that bumper sticker be removed? Does an immature, whiny 12-year old still qualify as a “baby on board”?
The great dichotomy persists for vehicles that feature “Live Aloha” (nice concept) and “Defend Hawai`i” decals with their ever-present AK-15 or some other bump stock firearm featured. “Live Aloha”- we got it, but if you insist that we “Defend Hawai`i”, can you give us a suggested time period for this impending Armageddon, in case we opt to binge-watch “The Crown” or “Duck Dynasty” that week?
If you’re gonna regale us that your child is an “Honor Student” (which undoubtedly takes into account grade inflation sometimes used to ensure that schools pass minimum, standardized test requirements to avoid notoriety) can you please honor the rules of the road? Like not merging through two lanes in five seconds? If not, perhaps we can require DNA testing for veering scofflaws to ensure that the alleged whiz kid inside that vehicle really is your honor student.
“Ainokea” is a popular sticker. OK, your choice, but again, some of us actually do care, so please make sure you’ve got this driving thing down before you veer right whilst making a left turn.
The “London New York Paris Waimanalo” bumper sticker brings a smile to my face, but now that re-paving is rampant throughout Waimanalo town, it really is becoming more like “London New York Paris…”, just without those Gucci and Pucci stores, kinda.
If you’re stuck in traffic, is a “Local Motion” bumper sticker moot? I mean, you’re not moving, a/k/a no motion. Maybe “Local Melancholy” would fit the tone of the moment better.
Anyway, lots of time to explore these local jalopy juxtapositions as we creep along pondering the pedicure of that foot hanging out the passenger side of the car next to us.
Think about it…