Seasonal songs for a fun-filled time of year. In a world perhaps overly sensitive and over-correcting (at times), here’s a twisted analysis of storied holiday songs, suggesting what some might consider to be titularly off-putting.
“All I Want For Christmas Is You”- Really? Must it always be about what you want! What about the collective us, or my needs? What about others?
“White Christmas”- Let’s not even go there…
“Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas”- Great! Now you get to dictate my feelings?
“Frosty The Snowman”- Come on… dude appears to have rhinophyma (really red nose) which social media suggests is linked to a, um, …drinking issue.
“The Little Drummer Boy”- how about just “the drummer boy”?! Why the pejorative term?
“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”- uh-huh; is this another one of those so-called “open relationships”, or perhaps “just” a seasonal thing? Ho Ho Ho, indeed.
“Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer”- See “Frosty The Snowman”. And I hear that Santa knows!
“O Come All Ye Faithful”- Any chance we can extend this concept to 12-months annually? If we pull the caring card only on Christmas, are we absolved when acting rude or misbehaving the other 364 days?
“12 Days Of Christmas”- I heard that the numbers 13 and 14 filed an international lawsuit claiming date exclusion. Why limit such a gluttonous potpourri to just 12 days?
“Last Christmas”- Oh puh-leeease… can’t we just move on already? Why drudge up the past? I am sooooo over last Christmas.
“Silent Night”- let’s make this concept acceptable more often- peace, quietude… no cellphones, video games, streaming, judgment, polarizing tribes, insincere pontification, or self-indulgent prattle?
“Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”- a bit presumptuous, isn’t it? And who declared you nice and not naughty? Was someone overseeing those votes? I detect voter fraud here.
“You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch”- Mean? Maybe he’s just got pent up emotional issues. How about some empathy? Hear him out. I mean, it is that most wonderful time of year, isn’t it?
“It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year”- Who says? Here comes a polarizing, argumentative viewpoint from summertime fans, followed by those who cherish the changing autumn colors.
“Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer”- this smacks of ageism and recklessness; it just seems wrong and unfair on so many levels…
If nothing else, ‘tis the season to lighten up and light up (the house).
Think about it…