It’s that holly, jolly time of year, so let’s take classic Christmas song titles and inaptly apply them with tongue firmly planted in cheek to the world we live in today, as we nosh on cinnamon babka and eggnog!
“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” Well, they were actually standing six feet apart… with masks on… and it was just an air kiss… but whatevah!
“Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” Ding, dong, the witch is (relatively) dead! We finally beat the evil virus. Oh wait, a phone call. Hello… oh, my goodness… omicron!!
“Do You Hear What I Hear?” Hear? Maybe, but millions don’t really listen any more.
“All I Want For Christmas Is You” You see, I just want you! I’m not materialistic or status-conscious for something to showcase on Facebook… but what did you get me?
“It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year” It is, indeed; and it’s also the end of yet another year that Energizer Bunnied- it just went on and on and on.
“Last Christmas” Please, don’t even remind me… but, hey, we made the best of it.
“Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town” Have you been naughty? Nice? Tough to tell these days in the minds of far too many.
“Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer” Great news, Rudolph finally checked into that rehab after far too long, so all’s well.
“Santa Shark” Please, parents, make it go away… It’s had over 33-million hits on YouTube.
“Joy To The World” Well, if we all try really, really hard, this one might actually come true.
“Silent Night” Congress is in recess! Hosanna, Heysanna, sanna sanna ho!! (lyrics courtesy “Jesus Christ Superstar”)
“O Come, All Ye Faithful” For that’s what we’ll need to attain a renewed sense of sanity, calm, and empathy in the years ahead.
“12 Days Of Christmas” Or the long version- if you prefer: “Retail’s 60 Days of Christmas”.
“Christmastime Is Here” The heartwarming sight of Charlie Brown’s diminutive, but decorated, Christmas tree reminds even the cynics among us of the true spirit of the season. You rock, Linus!
“Feliz Navididad” A Rorschach test to see if you’re still human after the past two years- if this one doesn’t make you smile… audition to play the role of Scrooge. Próspero año y felicidad!
“Winter Wonderland” You’re living in it, or on it! So celebrate the season here… year round.
Ho ho, oh.
Think about it…