While we certainly can’t chuckle about the “bad old days” of COVID-19 yet, we can see a light at the end of the prolonged, dark tunnel. So let’s plant our tongues firmly in cheek, jump ahead a couple of years, and look back at some terms that have morphed in meaning, as it’s never too early to smile:
- “Antibodies”- it was what we all wanted to help fight off a stealthy invader, but now it simply defines people we just don’t want as homies
- “Cluster”- a place to avoid in the COVID era; now it can be seen daily at Leonard’s as malasada-craving tourists have re-appeared
- “Community spread”- that was when someone got COVID some place that couldn’t be easily identified; now, it’s just another AYSO soccer potluck on Saturday
- “Convalescent plasma”- an antibody donation made by community heroes who’d beaten the disease; now, it’s that 77”, $4,000, 4K, OLED TV you can’t possibly afford, unless you saved your government stimulus check (yeh, right)
- “False positive result”- was when you didn’t have COVID but thought you did; now it’s what you say when you didn’t like a presidential election result, despite facts
- “Herd Immunity”- that which we wanted so badly as a species that we bribed people to get vaccinated; now, it’s just a term for a bunch of mad cow disease-free cattle in Kamuela
- “Long-Hauler”- in 2022, this was one of the many millions still suffering COVID aftereffects; now, it’s just Bob, the guy trucking your Tesla to Long Beach for shipping here
- “PPE”- was the vital equipment that hospital first responders couldn’t get enough of during dire times; now, it’s Twitter shorthand for a renown, North Shore surfing spot
- “mRNA”- the single strand, molecular magical meanderer that helped fight off the dastardly pandemic, courtesy of Pfizer/Moderna vaccines; now, it’s the miracle medical breakthrough in our fight against cancer, HIV, sickle cell anemia, Ebola, Zika, influenza, etc. No joke here.
- “Social distancing”- was what we did to keep the virus away; now, it just refers to the mandated, awkward rule during slow dances at junior’s 8th grade social
- “Super-spreader”- formerly a human to avoid, super-spreader now merely indicates a benign, but wide, butter knife
- “Zoom”- a human zoo inside transparent boxes where we all used to congregate to be seen far too often; now, it’s what we all aspire to see our lives do, post-COVID-19.
Think about it…