June Lampoon – MidWeek June 1, 2022

Too much heaviness too often can make the weights seem too great to bear. Inflation, war in Ukraine, omnipresent omicron, American tribalism, health care… the beat goes on. This week, in tribute to the great George Carlin tribute documentary that recently debuted, we go from the sublime to the ridiculous!

Americans love to identify, celebrate, be festive, and fête just about anyone and anything. So here are a few (I kid you not) “official” things celebrated in June, besides those items really worth noting this month (LGBTQIA Pride Month, Father’s Day, Men’s Health Month, et al.). With tongue firmly planted in cheek…

National Give A Bunch of Balloons Month– no joke here; this is about giving a seriously ill kid or one going through rough treatments a bunch of balloons; just, because. I love it.

National DJ Month– ahhh, where would we be without those peripatetic platter spinners? Let’s rave about raves as you celebrate your favorite local techno stylists.

National Accordion Awareness Month– as if you’re not familiar with the omnipotent, omnipresent squeezebox. And a “Weird Al” Yankovic biopic debuts this fall, starring Daniel Radcliffe- a/k/a Harry Potter, so bone up now on your zydeco and polka.

National Candy Month– celebrating its 38th year! Dude, some of us celebrate this every day; c’mon, a few Kit Kat/M&M Almonds/Raisinets/Skittles/Li Hing Gummies/Lychee Jelly/Yan Yan are surely part of mental health. Floss and brush, of course. 

National Dairy Month– I speak of this with complete and udder respect for Lani Moo.

National Papaya Month– probably not a big deal in Kentucky or Maine, but locally- this bulbous delight is about as good as it gets. National Mango Day is July 22. Ho-hum… 

Turkey Lovers Month– no, this is not about fans of the U.S. Congress. But why is this celebrated in June, as the cross-marketing effort to get people stuffing turkeys outside of November has failed miserably? 77% of turkeys are sold in November; I’ve kept abreast of when people hoard (turkey) breasts.

National Homeownership Month– well, it used to be a worthy dream, didn’t it??

National Pollinators Month– no joke here; we need more busy bees… please.

National Safety Month– because I guess we simply let ourselves go the other 11-months annually. But, what the heck, check those smoke alarms and first aid kits at home.

So much to celebrate and so little time! Enjoy June (carefully, of course).

Think about it…