Del passed away six weeks ago. While there is no good side to that statement, our makule soccer team fortunately found out in time for 20 of us to attend Del’s funeral service on President’s Day. A propitious date… because hanging with Del was always like a holiday. Del was a bonder, a giver, an endorphin-releaser. He wasn’t our fastest or best player, but he played with passion as an integral cog in our soccer success for years. Whether you saw him once a week or once a month, Del always brought his “A” game and smile, along with some savory barbeque meats for post-game reverie.
What separated Del from far too many others was his innate empathy, his deep capacity to listen and care. We all know people who are somewhat interesting, but really not that interested; people who listen just long enough to conjure up an inevitable comeback. But not Del. He probed and was genuinely interested in what you brought to a conversation. Even as a casual acquaintance, his kolohe spark made him a guy that everyone enjoyed hanging with to talk story.
Growing up is over-rated. Del chose to remain somewhat Del-inquent. His sons’ friends recounted that he came across as a true friend rather than just “Uncle Del”, or Jared’s dad. He comfortably morphed into a crowd 30-years younger and would occasionally join the boys for a night out. When this Kauai native of Filipino ancestry went to Las Vegas, a favorite spot, he didn’t mind being mis-identified as Mexican by some there. He ran with it, adopting self-proclaimed monikers like “Ramón” and “Machete”, and then playing the roles!
Some people are full of themselves; Del was full of life. He gifted everyone who knew him as a family member, coach, friend, mentor, co-worker, or teammate. He was real, present, curious, alive, and in the moment. A culinary maestro who worked in the food industry, he spiced up plenty of people’s lives along the way. He made a difference, lived and loved local style, and what more can you ask of someone?
I bumped into Del for the last time a few months back. He told me of his physical misfortunes, foreshadowing his impending fate. As always, he smiled, he joked; we laughed, and we hugged. Yes, we can all use more Del- more empathy, more human-ness, more fun. For we all matter… and Del knew that.
Think about it…