So what happens when people are quarantined, confined, restricted and conflicted for almost a year? Well strange terms develop as weirdness rules. Try a few of these on for size:
“Make America Grate Again”: this is what happens when people cannot (or should not) visit friends, relatives, neighbors, co-workers, and when nerves are frayed and the pandemic rules shift over time. Everyone is angst-filled and frustrated. Yes, the pandemic continues to be grating for everyone.
“Damn-demic”: this is about the nicest thing you can call the resilient novel coronavirus after almost 12-months.
“As Tiers Go By” or “The Tracks of My Tiers”: we’ve seen it all- rules change, things seems to be getting better, we’re inching closer to allowing for more freedom, and then WHAM! Alas, restrictive tiers and redundant tears return.
“Community spread”: no, this is not tutu’s lilikoi jam sold at the swap meet. It’s what happens when people either live or gather too close together in one area, thus helping to spread the virus. Gathering like this with friends and family used to be called “living”.
“Flattening the Curve”: a kind term describing people’s efforts to lose the real COVID-19… those 19 pounds we’ve all gained sitting around over the past 11-months.
“Social Distancing” and “Virtual Meetings”: Two terms poorly explained. We’re not supposed to social distance, we’re actually supposed to physical distance from one another! And that seventh Zoom meeting I had today? That wasn’t a virtual meeting, I was there; it was all too real, with real people attending (and staring into space), and no virtual anime, manga, VR headsets, or videogame characters allowed.
“Self-Monitoring”: originally meant for us to check ourselves for COVID-19 symptoms, it has now taken on more nuanced implications, as we should constantly take stock of our (and others) mental and physical health as this nagging nightmare continues.
“Zoom-ology”: the scientific study of human behavior observable only by watching humans staring at their 10th Zoom call of the day. Otherwise known as “zombie-ism”.
“Facts-ine”: what non-believers need to spend more time studying to feel comfortable that yes, a COVID-19 vaccine is a scientifically-proven ally in this microscopic war.
“Venti-later”: this is what we call a person who lets us know (via “venting”) that they’re fed up with COVID-19 after 11-months. Kind of like I’ve just done with this column, as the on-going pandemic wavers and yet persists.
Think about it…