MidWeek Column

It’s that holly, jolly time of year, so let’s take classic Christmas song titles and inaptly apply them with tongue firmly planted in cheek to the world we live in today, as we nosh on cinnamon babka and eggnog!

“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”    Well, they were actually standing six feet apart… with masks on… and it was just an air kiss… but whatevah!

“Happy Xmas (War Is Over)”   Ding, dong, the witch is (relatively) dead! We finally beat the evil virus. Oh wait, a phone call. Hello… oh, my goodness… omicron!!

“Do You Hear What I Hear?”       Hear? Maybe, but millions don’t really listen any more.

“All I Want For Christmas Is You”    You see, I just want you! I’m not materialistic or status-conscious for something to showcase on Facebook… but what did you get me?

“It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year”    It is, indeed; and it’s also the end of yet another year that Energizer Bunnied- it just went on and on and on.

“Last Christmas”      Please, don’t even remind me… but, hey, we made the best of it.

“Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town”      Have you been naughty? Nice? Tough to tell these days in the minds of far too many.

“Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer”     Great news, Rudolph finally checked into that rehab after far too long, so all’s well.

“Santa Shark”      Please, parents, make it go away… It’s had over 33-million hits on YouTube.

“Joy To The World”      Well, if we all try really, really hard, this one might actually come true.

“Silent Night”    Congress is in recess! Hosanna, Heysanna, sanna sanna ho!! (lyrics courtesy “Jesus Christ Superstar”)

“O Come, All Ye Faithful”    For that’s what we’ll need to attain a renewed sense of sanity, calm, and empathy in the years ahead.

“12 Days Of Christmas”    Or the long version- if you prefer: “Retail’s 60 Days of Christmas”.

“Christmastime Is Here”   The heartwarming sight of Charlie Brown’s diminutive, but decorated, Christmas tree reminds even the cynics among us of the true spirit of the season. You rock, Linus!

“Feliz Navididad” A Rorschach test to see if you’re still human after the past two years- if this one doesn’t make you smile… audition to play the role of Scrooge. Próspero año y felicidad!

“Winter Wonderland”     You’re living in it, or on it! So celebrate the season here… year round.

Ho ho, oh.

Think about it…

90 years ago, Mahatma Gandhi, a purveyor of nonviolence in resistance movements (among his many attributes) said, “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.”

If so, the soul of a community can perhaps be reflected by how it reports on the treatment of its animal friends, as well as its people. When a Hawaiian monk seal died recently after a battle with a parasitic disease spread by cat feces, it made for local headline news. When two nēnē geese were killed by a car near Kahului Airport a few days later, it was a front page story. The mere fact that such unfortunate incidents still make news in Hawai`i is, depending on your vantage point, either an indication of our humanity and caring, or the reality of a slow news day.

Ramping things up a bit, when there is a murder or other criminal act of violence toward a human, it is usually the lead story on local newscasts and a front page newspaper story the next day. The Census Department lists the following cities as having populations similar to Honolulu in 2021- Anaheim, Cleveland, New Orleans, Anaheim, Tulsa, and Cincinnati. Ever watched local news or read a newspaper in those cities? Violent crime incidents are often relegated to page six, or buried in the second half of the newscasts. Sometimes, they just don’t see these to be a big deal.

Again, make your own assumptions as to why that might be, but perhaps it’s reassuring that we still largely pay attention to these things locally- whether it’s human suffering or sad sagas about animals. While this doesn’t necessarily make us more humane than other areas, the day that we lose perspective on the value of life is the day we become more numb, unaffected, and perhaps even less human. Empathy and truly valuing life can be revealing traits in deciphering what separates one place’s ethos from another. Certain cities are sometimes defined as “tough” or “hard”. What does that do to the populace over time? How does that change perspectives, outlooks, and daily demeanor?

Thus, while it might seem like overkill, no pun intended, to see “major” stories about losing a seal or a goose, these beloved entities help to make our islands special; heartfelt sadness and lack of indifference should be acknowledged, not chided.

Think about it…   

‘Twas Wednesday, three days before graduating from college, and I had no clue. Most of my friends were bound for graduate schools. I was headed to be a freshman in the real world while living at my aunt’s apartment on East 69^th in Manhattan; jobless, with a fantasy pipedream to someday take over hosting “The Tonight Show” post-Johnny Carson.

My dad called me that evening from Honolulu to tell me he’d bumped into Dennis Minga, VP of Team Hawai`i of the North American Soccer league (NASL) at the Team Hawai`i office downtown at the Amfac Center (now the Topa Financial Center). Dad was there to purchase a team tee shirt for his nephew- my cousin. Dennis had interviewed me at Christmastime six months earlier during holiday break and, upon spying my dad, told him that I should call Dennis ASAP about a possible job (pro soccer team- public relations director!). 

I called Dennis on Thursday. Sunday, I flew home to my first, post-college job, bypassing my scheduled Manhattan college graduation party. The point to this saga? Serendipity… when good things happen by chance, changed and helped shape my life. If Mr. Minga was at lunch, a meeting, or in the bathroom when my tee-shirt-shopping dad went downtown that day, I wouldn’t have come home to Hawai`i. Maybe not a true miracle in this season of miracles, but certainly a fortuitous moment.

Who knows what the future would’ve held had I ventured to the Big Apple many decades ago. I do know that serendipity brought me here, and it can foretell great things- like how you meet your significant other or get a job- through its sheer happenstance. One way to possibly luck into serendipity is to put oneself out there, go places, meet people, or venture outside of your comfort zone. Because you never know…

As we start head into 2022, resuming interactions with humans outside of our isolation bubbles, who knows what serendipity might mean for you? The intricate networks found locally via connections can be rewarding. They can be frustrating, too, as everyone seems inter-connected in some way, where conflicts of interest occur far too often, but that’s another story.

The bottom line- if you want personal growth, opportunity, new experiences, change, or an expansion of your social/work circle- and perhaps your mind- put yourself out there, now that we can. Serendipity, how sweet it is.

Think about it…

Two weeks ago I traveled out of state. Yes, it’s certainly a hassle, but I did see some things while coming out of hibernation that gave me cause for joy and hope.

Things like people allowing others to go in front of them in line, people helping to remove their seat-neighbors’ bag from the overhead bin, with a “thank you” in response, people waiting patiently while the never-ending deplaning process proceeded slowly after a tiresome, delayed flight.

My empathetic wife always brings a small gift for flight attendants to thank them for their efforts, patience and service. Nowadays, I’m sure that’s more than just nice in the eyes of the recipients; I’m sure it’s also reaffirmation that humans still do care about the tedious work they do on the ground and at 30,000 feet. While we apparently have to hear about the losers from Darwin’s waiting room (a tiny minority, of course) who get headlines for their misguided, macho, mis-directional displays of frustration in retail stores and while up in the air, it’s really OK to share kind words or small gifts as little tokens of acknowledgment to people who serve us.

While Thanksgiving and the holiday season is obviously a renowned time for people to share niceties, tributes, and to generally act kinder, as I’ve stated many times in the past, it shouldn’t be that tough to ooze that sentiment, that consideration, for 12-months a year. It shouldn’t have to take morons misbehaving to administrative types, medical professionals, service industry stalwarts and others to make sure that the rest of us retain our civility toward one another, no matter how bad the last 21-months might have been for you.

And what better place would there be to calm the heck down and do what’s pono on a day to day basis than right here in the Aloha State? Thankfully, we don’t even honk here (usually). We use kind hand gestures to say “go ahead”, or simply wait a little longer at green lights, turns, or in lines. While that may sound trivial, take a trip to one of “those” cities, where the eighth guy in a car line starts honking when the light turns green…

Yes, I traveled recently; and airport personnel, flight crews, check-in executors, baggage personnel, and Safe Travels officials were as helpful and pleasant as could be. I might just travel again someday!

Think about it…

End-of-year resolutions tend to be personal checklists to improve one’s health, outlook, relationships, career situation, etc. From the mundane (clean up the clutter, the gut, the gutter) to the aspirational (volunteer weekly at a charity or school), resolutions can encourage us to do more or do better.

But alas, come January 20, the clutter continues to pile up and we haven’t stepped on a scale since fireworks’ night out of reality fear. But maybe this time we’ve gotten a better grip on ourselves and what matters as we come out of the woodwork after nearly two-years. Maybe 2022 really will be the year of living differently, where we’ll take small, incremental steps to wellness in some aspects of our lives.

Wouldn’t it be great if we all would simply just be 10% better- kinder, more empathetic, giving more of ourselves to our kids, significant others, co-workers, neighbors and friends? That holiday season boost we feel annually around November/December, what if that lasted, like a beneficial booster vaccine, for months or years? What if we left reminders on our phone, work desk, and calendars to keep that holiday vibe alive as the monotony of day-to-day life creeps in by the time we hit 2^nd quarter next year?

What if we saw a health professional or military member standing in line at a quick service restaurant and opted to pay for his/her meal and simply said, “thanks for all that you do”? This is certainly not meant to be cloying, just an assessment of what we can do after a tough, extended winter, spring, summer, and fall of our discontent.

What if we consciously go out of our way to say “mahalo” to the administrative types who’ve handled far too many calls from far too many agitated people over the past 21-months? Or the store clerks and line personnel at our favorite locations who’ve had to deal with more risk than many, since their jobs don’t permit working from home?

We are the land of aloha, so this really shouldn’t be such a stretch… ever. Some comment on how rude people have become- in lines, on planes, driving, on the phone- which is possibly due, in part, to a very trying and frustrating couple of years. But we can change that, and the holiday season is a good time to pro-actively train ourselves for the rest of our lives.

Think about it…

“‘Twas brillig and the slithy toves”… I’ve always wanted to lead with that mystifying start to Lewis Carroll’s nonsensical “Jabberwocky” poem from “Through The Looking-Glass”. It provides me some pre-holiday season liberties to jabber both nonsensically and seriously as we travel through our local looking glass…

Three weeks ago, Hawai`i Island firefighters roped and then hoisted a calf to safety, turning what seemed like a hopeless scenario into a happily ever after moment. The adept animal control division gurus calmly made sure not to cow the calf, fastened the fretting wanderer, and pulled her up to safely, telling passersby to relax, i.e. – don’t have a cow. The wayward calf returned to its lea, excised from an inaccessible beach location. With great help, it avoided becoming a cache cow…

Following a transition, 36 states, including Hawai`i, will require local callers to use 10-digits when making local calls, rather than the now familiar seven numbers. That’s because on July 16, 2022, the prefix “988” will become the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Rather than someone distraught having to remember the current 10-digit number, “988” will become a simpler source for help seekers. Like “911” (emergency) and Aloha United Way’s “211” (statewide information and referral), this easier three-digit number might provide easier relief for those in real need. And that’s a good call…

Math and language arts scores took a big hit last year in our public schools, as they did elsewhere, with distance learning the rule, and bumps along the hybrid highway. With kids (vaccinated and) back in classrooms now, hopefully we can move forward. But focus needs to be placed on how best to help our kids catch up and also move forward in the coming years. “Our keiki are our future” shouldn’t be anyone’s 2022 campaign slogan. We’ve heard it far too often. It’s a given. Now’s the time to prove that our kids really do matter, as they’ve fallen further behind through no fault of their own. Anyone listening?

The next time (well, hopefully there won’t one) family members cannot attend UH sports events due to pandemic-related safety restrictions, a cohort offered me a tongue-in-cheek solution that just might work. Make the relatives all UH band members du jour! Give the vaccinated parents a kazoo, let ‘em practice at rehearsals, and then let ‘em toot, root, and hoot with the already authorized band at UH games.

Think About it…

Exoplanet 2M0437b. Does the name ring a bell? Well, it should. It’s the infant star of 2M0437. Maybe we can just call it “junior”. It was discovered by Mauna Kea astronomers and it’s discovery has caused great joy. The gas planet (too many baked beans?) is 2.5 quadrillion miles away… which looks like this: 2,500,000,000,000,000. Eh, you like go?

While some couples can’t agree on which way to situate the toilet paper roll on the holder by their toilets, we’re darn sure about this new 2-5 million year old exoplanet. And how do we know it’s that old, give or take a few hundred thousand years? Apparently, it’s still radiating heat and light and well… just trust us. While I find space and astronomy fascinating, I must admit that finding a new “thing” way, way out there sometimes leaves me mystified. After all, Columbia magazine reports that there are approximately two hundred billion stars just in our galaxy alone. And there are an estimated one trillion exoplanets.

Yes, discovery is cool, but I’m not sure we should party like it’s 1999 now that we found one of the trillion exoplanets. As scientists have actually seen just a few dozen exoplanets so far, we’ve got plenty of discovery possibilities to go. And don’t suggest that this finding might’ve simply been a Big Island gnat on that telescope. That would be cynical and astro-deflating.

In our insatiable quest to find out if we are, in fact, not alone in this universe, scientists are often wonderfully humble in admitting that they simply don’t know much about a lot of the things they spy on way, way out there. According to the Honolulu Star-Advertiser, the lead astronomer on this study stated, “The process is very complex. We don’t understand most of it”. How refreshing. If only Congress would admit as much about most of the overstuffed bills which regularly befuddle them.

It’s really cool when brilliant orbit oglers find things that may or may not be meaningful, and so rare to hear highly-accomplished people regularly say, “beats me” when asked for details. While I’d prefer if more time was spent exploring ways to save this planet before it becomes an ex-planet (not to be confused with hazy exoplanets) or more money was spent exploring the barely- understood ocean blue, kudos to UH stargazers for finding a (semi-) brand spanking new baby planet.

Think about it… 

On July 20, a Honolulu Fire truck was stolen on Farrington Highway on the leeward side. The suspect was apprehended, without incident, shortly thereafter. On August 2, four people scaled the Halawa Station HART fence and decided to traipse alongside the tracks and the now deadly (as it’s electrified for testing) third rail. Fortunately, no one was hurt… this time. On October 8, a man stole a loader dump truck and drove around erratically, causing consternation for other drivers and causing police to chase him ()stop and go) for almost five hours between downtown, Nimitz Highway, the Ala Moana area, and finally Kuhio Avenue. He was eventually captured after much HPD patience and some nervous moments. This was surely not the right type of entertainment to bring tourists back to Waikiki.

Perhaps you’re detecting a trend here?  A new breed of nonchalant, clueless and/or troubled individuals sees a vehicular or transit opening these days and simply takes it, literally! As for hopping a fence under with no sense of danger around rail tracks… well, now everyone knows. Death lurks as the track works. We might‘ve had our first HART “rider” fatality before the entity actually running, which occurs only if we get wheels that fit. At least a HART thief can’t take the train anywhere.

Maybe these are all warnings. The easy days of casually leaving a bus running or the car idling while you do your work or relax outside said vehicles are gone. Sensitive equipment and electronic-based remote systems often require responding pros to leave the motors humming. So far, this year, no one’s been seriously hurt. But if vehicular snatching can happen with a refuse vehicle and a fire truck, what about HPD patrol cars or ambulances? What about City, tour, and school buses? Maybe meandering miscreants have simply gotten bolder, or care less about consequences; thus ends the era of casually leaving one’s car/truck/bus/train/airplane purring.

Brazen bystanders locally now appear ready to enjoy a joyride when the moment strikes them, a concept over which first responders or any responders might have little control. Taking the keys out of vehicles would be counterproductive to the mission, or seem like an affront to decency and civility, but many of us also remember not having to lock up our houses years ago. As Chilliwack and Bad Company each sang, those days are sadly “gone, gone, gone”.

Think about it… 

You don’t know what you don’t know. And often, you don’t know it. Huh? Well, I know I don’t know how to fly a plane, but I’m cognizant of that fact. Sometimes it’s reassuring to find something that you simply didn’t know even existed, something of which you were unaware. It can light a fire, make you more curious, open new doors.

Like chico, otherwise known as sapodilla. It’s a tree which bears a funky fruit of the same name. Who knew? Maybe you did. But while tagging along with my seedling-seeking wife at a Waimanalo nursery recently, I spied a cardboard box that said “chico” as we were paying for our plant-able goods. The proprietor told me that chico fruit, which looks like a cross between a kiwi and a Russet potato, has the granular sensation of a pear and tastes like cinnamon. Cinnamon!? That’s my boo! The ultimate spice, a gift from above. Oh, by the way, seek out the more expensive Ceylon cinnamon; it’s healthier for you than garden variety cassia cinnamon.

So I bought a half dozen of the mundane chicos and waited for a slight give in their texture when pinched. I quartered them, removed the solo pit, and savored- nirvana! Who knew? Yet another local food treasure to add my palette. I am now on a chico quest, like a truffle-hunting pig, because chicos are surely not the centerpiece of your every day, local produce departments.

But they are available on farms, specialty grocers (Foodland Farms Ala Moana), and some farmer’s markets (KCC). I’ve since learned that sapodilla wood can be found in Mayan ruins. Ancient, tropical, and available. Yes, you simply don’t know what you don’t know. To learn of a luscious, nutritious new fruit at my overripe old age has been a real treat. Did you know there are perhaps 14 varieties of papaya, but well over 500 types of mangoes?! Trivia like this boggles one’s mind. Did you know that furry rambutans are laden with potassium and healthy folates?

We can go beyond kale, blueberries and walnuts to survive! So indulge yourself- it’s out there if you just look for it, or perhaps stumble upon it. And finally, despite a great marketing effort for green Actinidia deliciosa (kiwi), the gold/yellow kiwi variety pack more Vitamin C and sweetness. So check chicos, or find your own new passion.

Think about it…

Kaizen is a Japanese term (actually first developed in the U.S. during the industrial World War II manufacturing frenzy) which means “change for the better” or “continuous improvement”. I’ve written/spoken about it before, but the value of this concept hit me last week when I saw a friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in two years because… well, you know why.

I was at a properly-attended social function when he happened to walk by. Instinctively I stood up and gave him a bro-hug, like we might’ve done casually just two years ago. It was a bit awkward, and I probably should’ve played the handshake-or-knuckles “hello” game, but emotions took over. After we said our pleasantries and “stay safe”, I started thinking about kaizen. We can’t recover everything, make the world go back to normal, recreate our lives from 2019 overnight. But we can take incremental steps.

Even as habits have changed since March, 2020, people are able to (somewhat) rationalize the “Covid-19” weight gain- in pounds. Try not to agonize over the daunting concept of losing 19 pounds, but perhaps focus on losing a pound every week or so. That may be manageable and doable. Success breeds confidence.

We are constantly reminded to get 30-minutes of exercise a day. But for many of us, the willpower, motivation, or wherewithal to do that just isn’t always there. But walking around the block once daily with the dog? That works. Seven-minutes? OK, it’s a start. Maybe in two weeks you’re up to walking around the block twice- 14 minutes. Incremental steps, piecemeal gains, but realistic goals to get you on your way.

Got the blues? Find little things to help make you happy. A song; a memory. I literally watched two ducks floating in a pond while waiting to tee off while playing golf last Saturday. Two ducks. They bobbed without a care in the world (I suppose). How tranquil, ideal, simple. I’m sure my blood pressure dropped a notch right there (especially after bogeying the preceding hole, an easy par 4).

At the end of the day, doing little pieces of something is better than doing a whole lot of nothing. Mountains are hard to climb if you gaze forlornly at the top, but the time has come to start focusing on smaller chunks- the next ridge, opportunity, success. Maybe that’s how we can find our way back.

Think about it…